Jump Start your Library?

The Nashing of Teeth!!!!

I want to take a road trip in a Nash Metropolitan.  When I find $35,000, I’d like to buy one that’s been entirely rebuilt with authentic parts.  To quote my granddaughter in her demand for…well…anything, “I want it!!!”

Yes, Austin.  This is what my Metropolitan used to look like until my $*@&%*! first husband sold it out from under me and replaced it with a piece of crap volkswagen that broke down a month later.  But that’s a story for another time.

Today’s Jump Start your Brain from Austin is intriguing.  He’s a versatile and prolific writer.   http://moviewriternyu.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/jump-start-your-brain-road-trip/

As usual, his questions are in black, my answers are in brown:

Do you support your local library? When’s the last time you were there? How often do you visit over the course of a month? What’s the last book you checked out?  I get all my books on digital media from a talking book service for the blind and dyslexic.  Haven’t had a library fine in years. 

 Did you bring it back on time?  What’s the largest fine you’ve ever had to pay?   The last time I had an overdue library book, I did a simple calculation and discovered I could buy an entire shelf of the same book were I to ‘fess up.  It was easier to drop it in the drop box the day before moving to another state than pay the exorbitant fine.   That’s what happens when you don’t return a book for 6 years.  

Do you know the name of the pretty librarian you flirt with whenever you check out a book?   Most of the librarians I know look like the lead in a Klingon opera.

Have you ever been to the New York Public Library?   Have you posed for a photo with the lions on the front steps? Does your local library have menacing statues out front to frighten away evil? If you could design a statue for your library, what would it be?  No to the first 3.  My local library is the size of a 7-11.  Maybe it should have a statue of a guy holding a cup asking, “Would you like a slurpee?”

Do you know if your local library has a book club? Did you ever join it when you were getting divorced in hopes of making new friends only to have your soon to be ex-wife join the same group as well? Do you think I’m joking about that? When will you just accept that my ex-wife really did a number on me, including, but not limited to, making me fear the local library book club?  I don’t think you’re joking.  I think Satan is having fun at your expense.

Did you ever write about your library on your blog? If not, do you think you might consider doing so? Have you ever read my Book Fight Club post that was inspired by my visit to the Brew Public Library? If not, why don’t you read it now?   Do you know how long it’s been since I entered a library?   I visited my sister about 5 years ago in California.  She said library’s had internet and computers.  Who knew?  Probably anyone who entered a library after 1990.  I didn’t like the smell of libraries before that time.  The one time I had to go into one to use the internet, there was too much unwashed teenager lingering in the air for my comfort.   Or maybe California just smells that way because it’s spoiled.

Did you know that even though the more famous, Stephen King funded Bangor Public Library is just across the bridge from The House on the Hill, I still choose to come to the library in my town? Do you agree that it’s important to support local businesses? Did you know that it is my not so secret plan to one day help fund the Brewer Public Library if my writing career ever takes off? Do you think that Amy would agree to never charge me another late fee again if I became the library’s benefactor?  I think that’s a good use of your windfall.    And yes, I have no doubt that Brunhilda’s daughter would be there waiting for you with a stamp in one hand and the other hand held out to collect the money.   My donation would go to the library for the blind.  They’re a fine organization that doesn’t ask for one (a fine).