Fun with Humans (chapter infinity)
My stomach didn’t like dinner. Who cares? Obviously, my dogs care. They’d rather I just let it all out on the floor instead of in the toilet.
If you feel your own dinner coming up at the thought, it means you don’t own a dog. After a few years of watching what goes into and comes out of their bodies, you could be a nurse’s aide in a hospital full of possessed people awaiting exorcism and eat lunch without a problem.
I think my cats are learning bad habits from the dogs. Other Brother Coon Cat was sleeping on my desk yesterday afternoon. I kept hearing an animal pass gas. I thought it was the 82 pound Gentle Giant, as he is known for his loud and odiferous passings. I leaned over the desk to see if he was in the room, my nose near the Coon cat butt. That’s when the winds of truth hit me. How can such a small animal produce a gas that should be classified as hazardous waste?
It was enough to make me wonder, “Where is a gas mask when you need one?”