Being 6

Image She’s 6.  She’s 12 going on 30. If I had 5 minutes of her energy I could clean a house in 20 minutes (note the word “could.”)

One minute I’m being jostled, tumbled around and forced to use muscles I haven’t used in 30 years just to keep from being pummeled. The next minute she wants to talk about fashion, then she says gems of wisdom like, “It’s my turn to talk. You promised!” 

She has also learned that chore = money and

money = buying what you want, not the stuff that’s good for you.

In honor of the 90 degree turns in thinking inherent in a 6 year old, I’ll ponder the following:

  • Is there a law that says Atlanta water has to taste like it’s flavored with sewerage?
  • Why do we eat stuff at Christmas we know will make us sick?
  • Why do we spend money at Christmas time we wouldn’t spend at other times of the year? Is it because we ingest so much crap we can’t think straight?
  • When will there be a law that says there are too many laws and we now have to get rid of the ones the politicians told us were going to be temporary?

As I ponder the yearly ritual of throwing my good judgment out the window, I gulp down an Ibuprofen with my sewerage flavored decaf Irish Breakfast tea drowned in honey.  I sit with the bathroom light on several feet from my computer, my mind wandering to the untimely demise of incandescent lighting.  

Why does decent lighting have to be banned in January without regard to the fact that if you break one of those wonderful compact bulbs it’s a health hazard requiring specific guidelines for cleaning up hazardous materials?   The only “good” thing about it (if you can call it good) is the fact that I’ll be relegated to living in the cave I call my home just to avoid the migraines and Sunburned Eye Syndrome.

Next, congress is going to try to get herbal supplements banned so the only things available to take are Vioxx, Felbatol and Thalidomide.  Wait!  They’re already trying to do that!

It reminds me that I may have thrown out my good judgment for a month, but politicians seem to lose it once they’re elected–and it doesn’t come back until their dead (After all, you can’t make bad judgments if you’re dead).

That’s something even a 6 year old can understand.