Ever wake up at 1:40am with a dog face 2 inches from your ear that barks out 1…giant…


Welcome to my world.

You have to wonder–what are they thinking?

Vizsla Mutt: Where is the insomnia fairy? It’s supposed to be here by now.

Dingo Mutt: Mom is snoring so peacefully, but…but the trees are moving, there’s a fox near the fence, a possum is walking in the woods a block away. I just can’t lay here any longer. I HAVE to bark!!! Yip.

Vizsla Mutt: That was lame. I bark better under anesthesia.

Errrr Dog: She is supposed to be downstairs.  I must bark at trees. Dingo, you are too close to me.   Errrr. 

Gentle Giant: A dog biscuit would be nice about now.

Fat White Dog: Mmmmm….dog biscuit. Dog biscuit….good. W….O….O….F!!!!!!!

My right ear is ringing and I have to use the bathroom anyway so I might as well roll off the bed and do my zombie walk into the bathroom. Dingo Mutt, as usual, wants to be petted–when I’m unable to do more than sit as I guard the toilet paper from the ever inquisitive and playful exuberant-dog.

Now I’m awake enough to weather the gauntlet.

I carefully trudge toward the stairs, moving through the dog obstacle course, glad I’m holding onto the banister when Fat White Dog plows past me.

What’s worse than a woof to the ear? 5 begging dogs. It’s like listening to a diamond assaulting glass with short strokes at different frequencies. I do have that box of medium dog biscuits to get rid of. It takes 2 bites and they’re gone. So I throw out a handful and, predictably, Fat White Dog is trying to hog them all.

The solution is simple enough

  • throw a few dog biscuits out of the door, close the door,
  • allow the remaining doggies to chow down in peace,
  • get the homemade oatmeal-raisin cookie dough out of the fridge,
  • pop 3 spoonfuls into the toaster oven on a make-shift aluminum cookie sheet.
  • Go back into office and shut the door.

Now I have a dog whining at the door to get back in. That’s all right, it’s being drowned out by the sounds of happy chomping.

14 minutes and the cookies are ready! Nicely overdone on the edges with a slightly burned scent. Perfect! Just like my mother used to make.


Mmmmm….cookie. Cookie….good.