The 2:30 Wake-Up Smell


I don’t want to know what lurks under the grass. I just don’t want it on my bedding…again.

Ever dream about living in a huge house filled with your sister’s college friends while trying to do a pile of laundry?

If that nightmare wasn’t enough to wake me up, the odor of cat pee and dog poop finished the job.

The cat pee was easy to track down. Last night, Ancient Cat let loose in the hallway. I cleaned it up but, unfortunately, I must have touched my hair at some point as I bathed the hallway in OdoBan and cursed about cats who don’t have enough sense to use a litter box.

At 2:50am I was in the shower, slathering my hair and my body with the strongest vanilla body wash known to woman.

But…where was the dog poop? At 3:15am, I stripped the sheets off the dog and human beds. There was no dog poop, just the lingering scent. Then I remembered: Errrr Dog was rubbing his face and his body all over my bedding just before I went to sleep. Whatever he rolled on before assaulting my bed had firmly assimilated into my comforter. Between that and the Gentle Giant’s gas-passing marathon, my nostrils didn’t have a chance.

At 3:30am, I liberally poured OdoBan into the washer, throwing in my comforter and the dog bed sheets.

I think I need another bath.