The True Meaning of Wealth


What it looks like
to build your house
on a flood plain.

As I sit at my computer playing Spades with an alien, a dinosaur and Jack, I consider what life would be like were I the richest person alive. Most people would think about trips around the world, 16 million star hotels with bidets in the bathroom, the finest clothing, the best food, and never having to say…

“I’m sorry–I can’t afford it.”

My mind doesn’t work that way–the anxiety on steroids aspect of my brain won’t allow it. What does my mind think it would be like if I were the richest person in the world?

  • Every charity in the world would be begging me for money. 
  • Every spammer in the world would be trying to pay my first cousin’s 2nd wife’s sister for my email address.
  • I’d be worried that someone would dispose of my husband or me in order to replace the deceased spouse–or that my children’s spouses would be disposed of by people wanting to marry into money.
  • I couldn’t go to a fast food restaurant with my granddaughter without worrying about kidnappers. Ditto for amusement parks, movies, fancy restaurants, and ski trips.
  • My children would have to live in a house with a bodyguard.
  • My dogs would need a bodyguard.
  • People would try to find creative ways to sue me.
  • I’d have to keep lawyers on retainer to fight the people trying to find creative ways to sue me.
  • Every time I walked out the door there would be someone waiting for me so they could accost me for money.
  • I would have to have state of the art encryption on anti-virus to prevent people from hacking into my computer to find the password for my bank account.
  • I’d need a food taster, someone to look over my car to be sure there wasn’t a bomb under it, and
  • I wouldn’t be able to walk, travel, shop anywhere without an entourage fighting off the beggars, bad guys, and badgering reporters.

Too much cuteness!
Here–take all the
Pringles you want!

I spent all afternoon on a porch munching on Pringles, drinking tea and playing scrabble with my sister-in-law. We laughed, talked about family, watched her dachshund’s hilarious antics in her grassy back yard and enjoyed the breeze.  When I arrived home, my husband was smiling at me from the doorway as 5 dogs rushed up to greet me.

I will never in my lifetime know what it’s like to have a million dollars, but right now I feel like a million bucks.

Thanks, sis, for giving me an afternoon that no amount of money in the world could buy.