Accessories for the Dream World Apocalypse

Ever have a dream where you’re living in a house you don’t recognize in the mid-west with another family you don’t recognize.  You’re waiting to hear when the Apocalypse is about to come.  The family living with you packs and is gone.  That’s when some guy tells you on the radio that it’s time to get your gear and go.  But…but…

  • I haven’t prepared! 
  • I don’t have a list!
  • My 30 something kids are only 4 and 6 in dream world–and they’re no help!

    Oh No! I’m a ZOMBIE!!!
    Hmmm…no…I think I’m Princess Leia.
    But my son is a werewolf and…
    my daughter is a belly dancer?
    We might as well be Zombies.

First of all, you have to have the perfect truck to move all your stuff in:



It helps to have someone to Schlep you around

Then you have to have the perfect outfit to wear.  You are–after all–living in the mid-west only a few miles from the Canadian border.


You might want to forget the high heels ,though.
They have a tendency to sink into the dirt,

Now, here’s the part that’s  going to be hardest for most people:  YOUR MOTHER IN LAW WHO DIED 30 YEARS AGO IS LIVING WITH YOU!!!!!!

OMG!  The world really IS coming to an end.

I can feel it coming!  I going into a Dog Gammed, Chicken Flocking, mother flustering MELTDOWN!

Is there anyone out there who can save me from certain doom?  Anyone?  Anyone?

I’ve sent the kids to their rooms to pack their clothes,  I’ve picked just the right scarves to take with me, but I’m missing a few accessories.  Why did the dog have to chew up my best stilettos? 

Right now, I’m packing as many hotdogs as I can get into one picnic basket.  I think I have a case of bottled water somewhere.  Can someone out there can tell what I’m missing?  Why is the weight of the world resting on MY stomach?


 Ever look in the eyes of a fat, white, dog who is standing on your stomach while licking your face at 6:30am?

I think I’ll go back to bed now.