Is the universe trying to tell me something?
One person’s cute is another person’s stupid. Take, for example, the following picture:
Obviously, the cat thinks it’s stupid.
Do dogs think it’s cute to whine in your ear at 6 in the morning? Do cats think it’s stupid that humans can’t seem to get up when they’re hungry?
Is one person’s portent another person’s paranoia? Try having these 2 dreams and tell me if you think I have reason to sit up in bed breathing hard:
DREAM 1: Dinosaurs are running down the hallways looking for people to eat and the only thing between you and a hungry beast is the place where the plastic flowers are “planted” on top of the walls dividing meeting rooms. You’re squeezed in a small rectangular space, terrified. That’s when you take a deep breath, wake up, smile, and say, “Oh, it’s only the fat dog breathing in my face again.”
DREAM 2: You’re carrying a large tub of yogurt in a plastic bag, twirling it around like it’s a yoyo on a string. You have to cross an 8 lane highway after first crossing the 2 lane road that intersects it. There’s only 1 car on the entire road, a black monstrosity from the 1940’s that’s just sitting, waiting at the red light. You cross the 2 lane street just fine, but when you start to cross the 8 lane highway you can hardly see, you’re fighting to breathe, and then you realize why. You have a zip lock bag over your eyes and nose. You pull it up to see the car turning into the 8 lane highway where you’re walking. That’s when you cough at the cat hairs invading your nose, peel the cat off your face and say, “Oh, that’s why I couldn’t breathe.”
Damn! I can’t even take a cat nap without a cat trying to smother me! If I didn’t know any better, I’d think the universe was trying to tell me something.
Hahahahaha! After reading your emails for the past month or so, I think the universe is telling you that you should leave the bed to your dogs and cats at home and sleep in the next door neighbor’s house.
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I’m about ready to sleep in a stable stall. I suppose if the ani-mules didn’t love me so much, they wouldn’t try to smother me, lick me and breathe in my face when I’m sleeping. I can see the etching on the urn: ‘Smothered with love.’ My ghost will be very upset if the words I want on my urn aren’t there after I die: “I urned this.”
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I feel your pain. My Boston Terrier loves to sleep with her behind as close as she can get it to my sleeping and unsuspecting face. Methane fueled nightmares!
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I’ve had those, too, and find it strangely comforting to know that I’m not alone in my pain. Will I ever learn not to feed chicken skin, fat, and gristle to the dogs? The only smell that’s worse is when they manage to sneak into the kitty litter and partake in kitty gourmet.
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🙂 there’s Tootsie Rolls in that kitty litter!
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Yes. It’s especially delightful when upchucked with week old rotted wildlife all over the kitchen floor. That’s why I have a firm belief in the idea that dogs are God’s way of teaching us unconditional love. If you can clean THAT up without losing your lunch, and then comfort the doggie who did it, you’ve taken the first step toward that journey.
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Amen!
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