What’s That Slime?


The offending part of the dog

Have you ever awakened from a dream where you’re about to die only to find that your refrigerator is the one that died instead?

How did I discover the problem? I lifted the ice tray for a few cubes to cool off my morning tea, spilling what was supposed to be ice all over the floor.

My plan was to write, not to wash ice trays and play “what’s that slime?”

Most of the space is devoted to vitamin supplements, but hidden behind bottles of refrigerated pills lay a dark secret. There was mummified mystery fruit hard enough to kill someone if aimed with a good pitching arm, 3 bananas I’d placed in the fridge to use for muffins, several small plastic bowls of stuff I wasn’t about to open, and the butter had to be used ASAP.

It meant the banana muffins would be banana cake with butter cream icing instead, so I whipped it up, turned the oven on, and proceeded to bake it at 350 while moving stuff into the second fridge. Why a second fridge? Did I mention most of the other one is taken up by supplements?

Did I mention that I despise air conditioning, don’t use it, and was doing all of this in 90 degree weather? Generally, that’s not a problem unless you add 350 degrees of heat and stir vigorously.

The cake baked and cooling, I’m feeling pretty good about my progress–until the aroma of dog poop wafted up from the laundry room. It was followed by the Errrrrrr dog, who was summarily scolded for dumping the largest load of crap and spreading the most pee in the worst places of any dog that’s ever owned me.

It hadn’t been raining, so Errrrrrr dog didn’t do it to avoid getting his dainty little feet wet. The front door was wide open, so it’s not like he was trapped. Man, was I hot!  Do you know how hard it is to get pee out from under the dryer? If you don’t get rid of it, everything you dry has the faint scent of urine. 

The poop was easy to pick up with 2 plastic grocery store bags. But the pee! How does a 50 pound dog spray out 50 pounds of urine over a 5 foot diameter? To give you an idea as to just how much pee there was, I used 5 towels to soak it up. Then I had to put towels hot, wet and heavy with urine into the washer. I can’t tell you how thankful I was that I didn’t have anything in my stomach. It took a good 2 cups of Odoban to get rid of the stench.

This just reminded me to go and check how the towels are drying. Make that 3 cups of Odoban.