Post-Halloween rant

Yes. I admit it. I love Halloween. I used to dress up as entities such as the bride of Frankenstein, a zombie or a Bela Lugosi-style vampire. Once, I went to pick up my (long since ex-)husband at the airport wearing a floor-length dress he’d only seen a few times (in the closet) and a Princess Leia mask. He was so annoyed that some strange woman was standing in front of him refusing to move! He became more and more upset when that strange woman just wouldn’t get the hell out of the way. His frown deepened, his anger heightened until finally I said, “May the farce be with you.” That’s when he burst out laughing.

So, this Halloween, I seriously thought of buying an outfit and really doing it right. There was the pirate outfit, the sexy maid (too cold to wear and it would be much too funny on me), and perhaps I could dress in gothic wear. After all, I have plenty of black in my wardrobe.

I did toy with the thought of dressing as a Muslim extremist, but as a woman the only way I’d be able to do that would be to take the Abaya out of storage my sister had sent me as a joke and carry around a cardboard cutout that said “BOMB.” I’d be better off dressed as a cancer cell. I suppose for an extremist, dressing in western wear is about as close to dressing like Satan as donning a set of black rubber horns, wearing a red leotard, and holding a plastic pitchfork. Wearing an Abaya in the US would be just about as insulting as a woman from the US walking down a Saudi street in shorts and a jog bra. The difference is, we don’t kill them for it.

People make fun of other religions all the time. People make fun of the president and congress. When you take the job, it’s expected. You think Mohammad didn’t expect that kind of treatment, too? I suppose I could have dressed like an Imam with a sign that said, “I was the prophet Mohammad in my other life, now I’m a feminist.” You have no idea how much I would be insulting myself, but that isn’t as bad as the unnecessary insult to Buddha and to reincarnation believers everywhere. I suppose if you consider the fact that Halloween is dedicated to finding the monster within us, there’s no better example of a modern day monster than a Muslim extremist. What else would you call a group of people who practice pedophilia (marriage to 10 year olds), necrophilia (laws stating you can have sex with your wife hours after her death), female genital mutilation, forced marriages, subjugation of women, and have a 3-year-old’s intolerance to insults? That’s okay. An extremist of any ilk may have the morals of bacteria and the maturity of a toddler, but they can be fun to annoy.

Back to my original problem of what to do for Halloween. I looked in the mirror and the shock nearly killed me. I stared closer at the image and said, “I’m scary enough already.” It’s like dressing up for Halloween all year round. Who could ask for better?